There is so much morality ingrained in asking for what you want in life. In most cultures is considered simply rude, selfish, egotistic, self-centered, I can’t think of any more modifiers at the moment.
While I am an
And when I say done, I don’t mean dead, at least a clinical death.
If you are done, there is nothing to share. If the fuel tank is empty, the trip is over. Not that you need to justify your existence by doing something for others, but it helps, at least at the beginning.
So let me reframe the whole subject so you don’t think I’m a self-obsessed narcissist. Believe me, at this point in life, what you think of me is none of my business, but you would be missing the point. It all starts with the Self; when we care for the S = Self Care. Self Care means you know what you need, when, and how to ask for it.
Sounds simple ☺
Children, our most important teachers, get it; one of the reasons why we come in small & adorable packages is to remind us of this essential step: ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED.
What is the first thing a newborn does? She asks to be fed, he cries when he’s tired and again, and again, and again when she needs to be changed, and we find them perfect & terribly cute! As they grow older, the demands increase, they clearly express what they wish and won’t.
Slowly we “the people” sneak in and brainwash the little fellas, we label those requests as inappropriate, spoiled, impatient… and so on… and so much on that we end up believing we should go last.
My beloved Rumi wrote it beautifully: “What is bounty without a beggar? Generosity without a guest?
Be beggar and guest; for beauty is seeking a mirror, water is crying for a thirsty man. Hopelessness and need are tasteful
Perhaps we have misunderstood how this whole thing works, perhaps the privation outlook does not work, and perhaps, only perhaps, shifting into a mindset of believing we deserve goodness turns out to be the new thing in town.
The book Pranayama* talks about the origins of yoga through a fable, and how a man in order to survive the threat of a tiger, had to suppress his emotions and use the rational mind to escape.
So I’ve got two (2) questions for you:
1. Has keeping quiet, being a good boy, stuffing your emotions down the gut with a pint of cookie dough ice cream taken you afar in the business of evolving?
2. How do you get from here to thriving?
As it may be, taking some time to understand who you are, what you stand for and what supports your joy, could be a preamble to a script in which you write your own story, a story whose initial title: “The Betrayal” beholds a deeper truth: that the worst kind is the one to our kind, and that includes You.
So go on puppies! find your ground, love yourself and from a balanced place ask with grace!
What about receiving Sir?
Let me tell you a secret shhh…: First get crystal about the question, then pair your desire with the believe…
…et Voila! Magic starts to happen!
Mariona Riera -Life & Professional Coach – Positive Psychology Consultant – Mindfulness
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How you live your life matters/Crafting the Live Well Lived
*By Allison G. Laframboise and Yoganand M. Carroll